When I Grow Up I Want To Be… A Writer – But Have I Got What It takes?

My 10 yearwhen old daughter has known for several years what her occupation of choice is for when she grows up, she is adamant she wants to be a primary school teacher, my 8 year old son changes his mind weekly and has gone from wanting to be a free running dentist (not a bad concept, drill and filling materials strapped to his back he will scale the rooftops to reach the latest dental emergency), to his latest ambition to be a robotics engineer.

So what about me? You’d think by now I should know, I’ve had 37 years to think about it after all but I am still no wiser than the day I left school at 16 with average to good grades to embark on an extremely short lived career as a electrical engineer (blame my daddy’s girl complex). Since then I have worked in various retail and admin positions some more challenging and enjoyable than others but none exactly what I would call fulfilling.

So what do I really want to do? Well writing of course (or promotions or marketing or… but let’s just focus on the writing for now) otherwise why would I be here? I have no qualifications (other than a long forgotten English higher) and no real experience but a few years ago I attempted to pen a few short stories to try and break into the woman’s magazine, 5 minute fiction field and then distracted by family, work and real life took it no further.

They are not high brow, I don’t think I’ll be  the next Margaret Atwood or Alice Walker, but they are meant to  be fun and easy reading. So before I write a novel on writing a novel, what I’m trying to say is this, I’ll let you be the judge (just don’t go too Simon Cowell on me, I’m a sensitive soul). Here’s one of my old effort’s I came across, cheesy maybe but hopefully it makes for pleasant reading, so go on I can take it, read it and let me know what you think.

cold feet

Cold Feet

This was it, the big day had finally arrived. The sun was shining and throughout the house he could hear people dashing about and laughing as they carried out last minute preparations. Everyone was happy and excited. So why did Tom feel so sick as he attempted to straighten his bow tie in the mirror?

 After months of planning, he couldn’t believe it was finally happening. Sarah had tried her best to involve him in the preparations, but it was a girly thing really, all that agonising over the flowers and dresses and cakes, he’d been happy to let her and her mum get on with it. Know he thought maybe he’d been so distant because he didn’t really want it to happen.

At first he’d thought it was just nerves about the day itself. He had always been quite a shy bloke, and the thought of everyone looking at him dressed up in his suit, didn’t appeal to him at all. Then there would be all the photo shoots, countless people wanting to congratulate him and catch up on old times, but worse of all, there was the dreaded speech. He had no idea what to say and the thought of having to get up in front of all those people made his blood run cold. It had been bad enough all the fuss last year when Sarah’s brother, Ian had got married, but at least he hadn’t had to get involved too much. This time it would be completely different, he would be in a starring role.

The more he thought about it the more he realised it wasn’t just the day itself he was scared about, it was the whole thing, he just wasn’t ready for this. His hands were shaking now as he tried to put his cufflinks in, solid silver, a gift from his lovely Sarah. She’d bought them for him especially for today, to say thank you she’d said for all the love he’d given her. How could he tell her now that he didn’t think he could go through with it. Of course he’d always known this day would come from, the moment he first laid eyes on Sarah, she was so perfect and beautiful, he’d never felt like this about anyone before. But it all just seemed so frightening now, such a big change in both their lives.

How would they cope, just the two of them in their little house? He knew he should be grown up about this, but he was used to living with his family and having them fuss round him, would he still get the same attention now? What about if she wanted children, they hadn’t really discussed it and now he thought about it, he didn’t feel nearly old enough for that. Why couldn’t things just stay the way they were?

I have to see her and tell her, he decided as he bent to tie his laces, I can’t do this it doesn’t feel right. Just as he straightened up a knock came at his bedroom door and it swung slowly open. There she stood the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen, looking like an angel in an ivory of the shoulder gown, which set of her olive skin a big dark eyes perfectly. The tiara on her head made her look like the princess he knew she was and he was about to ruin her big day.

“What are you doing, you shouldn’t be here”, he managed to stammer.

“It’s OK, I just wanted to see you, and I had a feeling you might be getting a bit nervous. How are you?”

“Oh darling, I’m so sorry,” he sighed, “I don’t think I can do this, I love you, but I’m so scared.”

Sarah laughed, not the reaction he’d been expecting. “Don’t be silly Dad, it’ll all be over soon, and just think of all the things you and Mum have planned once you have this place to yourself.”

Tom smiled, he’d been such a fool, how could he be unhappy for his little girl. “You’re right love, I’m sorry for being such an old fool, I just don’t want to lose you.”

“We’ll only be 5 minutes down the road Dad, and what’s that old saying? You’re not losing a daughter but gaining a golfing partner!”

“Come on,” she laughed grabbing his arm, “the cars are here, don’t worry I’ll be there to help you down the aisle!”

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